Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed by allllll the pressure on social media.
The “better than you,” the unsolicited advice, the shaming, name-calling, and on and on.
Now I’m not saying don’t be PROUD of yourself, mama, for an achievement you worked hard for.
Or not to celebrate your birthday.
Or to not post that ADORABLE pic (or 372) of your kid.
I’m all for that.
But when people start acting like they have it all together, or are better than others, people everywhere (especially women, and especially moms) start feeling incredibly inadequate. Like something is wrong with us.
Why can’t we achieve all of that?
Why do I feel like a failure for not having a huge and complicated home cooked meal on the table every night?
How come I can’t have a gym perfected body?
How come my kid won’t sleep through the night?
Why do I always look like a wreck?
What you don’t know is that Susan LOVES to cook, and making the fancy meals is her happy place. What you don’t see is that she feels fat, and is embarrassed about her lack of home decor, so she posts her lovely meal instead.
What you don’t know is that Sally works out because she has 7 children, and catches her husband looking at other women (don’t get me started on this, by the way. It’s unacceptable, no matter how “common” it is). She feels like she isn’t young or pretty enough for her husband, so she posts her gym selfies to get praise and love from her friends instead.
What you don’t know is that Sarah loves being a stay at home mom, but she feels like no one values her because she doesn’t work outside the home, so she posts about her direct sales business all the time. She constantly hears demeaning comments about how “lazy” stay at home moms are, even though she is frazzled from doing the work of approximately 42 people 24/7. She can’t complain because they won’t understand, so she tries to show you she can work for money, too.
What you don’t know is that Sherry has chronic health problems that limit her energy to that of a 115 year old, but she is tired of trying to explain it to people, who then just counter with advice, even though they know nothing of her conditions, so she tries to appear as normal as possible. She tries to put on makeup for outings, so no one can see how tired and haggard she is, but it takes all her energy, so she rarely accepts invites to get togethers, and then people stop inviting her. So she posts selfies online when she’s done-up, because most of the time, she’s lying in bed in sweats, praying for the strength to get up and do some laundry, and who wants to see that?
I could go on, and maybe I should.
I’m not ready to share the extent of my current circumstances with the whole world just yet, but here’s my current day:
I’m sitting on my bathroom floor, with my kid in a playpen next to me.
I’m trying to have a few minutes with God (seriously, trying to plan quiet time with a baby is 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️) before I get in the shower. Heck, that’s IF I get a shower.
I’m drinking coffee I put in the fridge yesterday and warmed up this morning, dressed up with fresh whipped cream. 😂
I have greasy hair, a wrecked complexion from stress and hormones, and I just want to curl up in bed and cry.
See that crap behind me? That’s my bathroom counter. 🙈🤦🏻♀️
I need to clean and organize, but my kid is needy, because he’s had a rough life (for as long as he can remember), and needs to be reassured that I’m not going to disappear.
So I try not to compare when I see other people’s lives.
I try to remember that everyone is different, that we see highlight reels, that everyone has some struggle they either can’t or won’t share.
That it’s ok to love Jesus because I NEED him. Like… NEED. Because I’m a wreck. (I don’t love Jesus because I’m better than anyone, I love him because phew! Have. Mercy. 😂🤦🏻♀️😫)
I know this is long, and part of me doesn’t want to even post it because I fear people will take it the wrong way. That I’m saying only post crap and bad stuff, or air your dirty laundry on social media. Lol
I’m not saying any of that, and I hope my heart comes through.
You, who are reading this, are doing amazing. You have strengths as well as weaknesses, but just because people harp on your weaknesses and may not acknowledge or praise your strengths doesn’t mean you aren’t lovable. It means we’re all human and struggling and doing our best.
Celebrate the good times.
Hang in there through the bad.
Don’t forget that it’s ok to reach out for help (preaching to myself, too 😬).
And social media doesn’t paint the whole picture, so don’t let it set the tone for what you need to live up to. ❤️
K now it’s time to feed and change the kid again, so I hope someone needed to see this, and it isn’t just my mad, sleep-deprived ramblings, because I’m putting off (possibly giving up altogether lol) a shower for it. 😂😂